Kingdom of Hearts {Cardverse!Axis x Reader PT 1/2}

“Welcome to the Kingdom of Hearts. And, oh—don’t worry, as long as you’re not from the Kingdom of Diamonds, we won’t kill you.”

 
Nervously, you glanced between the two bickering boys in front of you.

Well, Romano’s the one arguing. His companion was only conversing back with him; albeit more innocently. Realizing such, you sighed. Couldn’t Romano just get along with people for once?

To put an end to the disagreement, you cheerfully thought aloud, “Hey - your guys’ names sound alike.”

Romano and Romania immediately stopped talking and turned to look at you. “Heh? Who would want a similar name to this guy?” Romano irritably thumb-pointed behind him to Romania, “And besides, my real name is South Italy.”

In response to your comment, Romania shrugged—completely unaffected and cheerful despite Romano’s obvious jab at him. (Or previous jabs, plural.)

“Hey, aren’t you going to say something? Why do you just smile and shrug like that all the time, you jerk?” Romano’s attention was once again on Romania.

You sighed. Clearly, you couldn’t tell if Romania either didn’t mind Romano’s remarks or was simply oblivious to them. Strange guy. Well, both of them. But, you had known Romano for a while, and you had heard in the past about how eccentric and usually-forward Romania was.

Still though, you just wished Romano would stop his one-sided arguing with him. But then again… you knew he was extra-grumpy today because you were all stuck in line together.

Ever since you moved to South Italy, you’d become pretty good friends with Romano—to put it nicely. So much that today he’d asked you to accompany him to do some ‘country-business’. Since he knew you were interested in it and all. And who wouldn’t be? He was a freaking personified country. He was practically immortal! So how could you not accept? You’d wanted to see how other human-nations would be like.

Currently, all of the countries were to pick up some important paperwork. But, you had to get in line for it at the World Government building. Romania was the only other nation you’d previously met; he was in front of you. The others in line behind you and Romano were countries you didn’t know. From their accents, you guessed they were Latin-American nations.

“So um, Romania, how have you been?” You asked him—that way Romano couldn’t pick on him anymore.

In response, he grinned—flashing a fanged tooth in the process. He looked really cute. “I’ve been great! So many tourists have been checking out my new magic shops in Transylvania lately.”

Just as you found yourself admiring his round crimson-red eyes and shaggy strawberry-blonde hair, Romano stole your chance to respond. “Magic shops? Who would believe in that?”

Romania tossed him an innocent look, “A lot of people. They like to come see my magic tricks too. Sometimes they’ll buy my good-luck charms. Oh, and we’re also good at making love potions.” He winked in your direction, to which you blushed and looked down.

Romano scoffed at the idea. After about a minute, you reluctantly raised your eyes back up from the ground. Coincidentally, you managed to catch Romania’s whole outfit. From his laced knee-length boots to his long, elegant red trench coat. He was even wearing leather gloves and his sleeves were black-and-white striped. The red and yellow ribbons flowing down from his small top hat matched the colors of his flag, cute.

Hm, well that old-fashioned outfit and fanged tooth sure made him look like a vampire. Just like people said. In fact, some of the girl nations thought he really was a vampire. But you knew better. After all, Romania’s country (namely a part called Transylvania) was practically where the birth of mythological vampires rooted back to.

“Pfft, what are you known for other than your dumb magic?” Romano asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the nearby window.

Without thinking, you quickly shouted, “Dracula!”

To which Romania laughed. “Oh yes, he lives in one of my Transylvanian castles!”

Slowly, the line was getting shorter. And before you knew it, Romania’s name was called. After he left and went ahead, Romano poked your cheek to get your attention. “Ah, what is it?”

He pouted and looked away, “…I don’t like that guy, dammit.” He mumbled.

“Why?”                                                                                                                               

“He’s a freak,”

Despite his discomfort, you giggled and responded, “Don’t be mean.”

Soon afterwards, Romania walked out of the pick-up room. His arms were full of paperwork, as expected. But, to be honest, you didn’t think it would be that much. The stack must have been at least three feet high. No wonder Romano asked you to come with him; no one could carry that much paper without dropping some of it.

As Romania was passing by—struggling not to drop a single paper—he grinned towards you and waved goodbye. Even despite the fact that a few inches of paperwork might fall over in the process.

…He’s a sweetie, you think, and wave back—to which Romano rolls his eyes and Romania laughs. He clumsily continued on his way out, only dropping a few things out of his trench pocket by accident.

Noticing this, you tried to stop him. “Hey Romania, wai-”

“-He’s out the door already, idiota.”

You quickly realized Romano was right, and sighed. “But he dropped those things and-”

The Italian’s irritated groan cut you off again, “-It’s okay. You can give them back to him when I’m not around, got it?” He crossed his arms again and discreetly tried to hide his blush.

You let out a breath of slight annoyance and shot your frenemy an agitated look. He simply avoided your gaze, pouting as usual.

Giving up hope on him for the time being, you sighed again and bent down to pick up Romania’s dropped items. One of which was a purple rabbit’s foot keychain. You recognized this as one of his good luck charms, but was this limb real?

Shrugging it off, you reached over for the other things. You noticed the remaining items were fancy playing cards.

A bit curious, you inspected to see which ones.

…King of Hearts. Queen of Hearts. Jack of Hearts. And, oh—one more. The Joker.

Picking them up, you showed them to Romano. “Look at these. Don’t they look cool? I’ve never seen playing cards like this before. They look so… old-fashioned.”

He took one glance at them, “…Eh. I’ve seen better.” And thus he flicked them out of your hand.

You instantly pouted. Harshly poking his forehead, you scolded, “Rude!”

But you didn’t notice that as they fluttered to the ground, the cards slowly began to emit a sparkly-reddish glow.

Romano didn’t realize it at first either. But as they touched the ground, the bright red glow became increasingly stronger—and you immediately caught sight of it. What the…-

“-South Italy?” The robotic voice was heard over the intercom, signaling Romano’s turn to pick up his paperwork.

But you continued to stare, wide-eyed and jaw-dropped. Maybe you were hallucinating? Why else would there be a glowing red sensation by your feet—which was slowly getting bigger and bigger…?!

“What are you waiting for, idiota? Let’s go.” Without turning around, Romano tugged on your arm to get you moving. And by accident (…or on purpose), he stepped directly over where he remembered the cards had fallen.

This—unbeknownst to him—was where the soft red glow came from.

“Wait, Ro-” You yanked on his arm to get his attention, but you quickly realized you didn’t need to.

Why? Because you were suddenly blinded by the red glow. It had flashed upwards, covering your vision in an instant. The ground beneath you immediately disintegrated—and you found yourself falling into a black abyss.

~* Kingdom of Hearts *~

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-oof!”

The combination of both yours and Romano’s screams were cut short as you both suddenly dropped onto solid ground.

“Ouch, ouch…” You mumbled as you rolled your head from side to side; the impact had caused quite a pop in your neck.

“Ch-Chigi…” Romano grumbled—who sounded like he was somewhere beneath you.

Slowly fluttering your eyes open and glancing around, you realized you had fallen directly over the said Italian. “Oh—hey there Roma! Thanks for breaking my fall, heh.” You quickly got off him, to which he sent you a death glare.

If you happened to know why you had just been falling, you probably would’ve laughed at his cutely-irritated expression. But, the fact was—you didn’t know why you had just been falling. So this was clearly no laughing matter, was it?

Still, you reached down to help him up. He eyed your hand, but instead chose to stand on his own. You mentally facepalmed. That attitude of his would get him nowhere.

Once standing, he took one glance at his surroundings. “…’the fuck was that?”

You looked around as well, “I have no idea...”

The place you’d fallen into didn’t even look like Earth itself. Somehow, you’d wound up in a forest. But, by the looks of it, this was no ordinary forest.

Red. There was red everywhere. No matter where you looked, there was red.

Sure, the forest trails were black and the tree trunks were brown, but as for the leaves, sky, and plants—they were all varying shades of red and pink. And what’s more astonishing is that some of the leaves were heart-shaped. Somehow, there were scarlet ribbons winding ever so naturally around the tree trunks. Mini gold-black-and-burgundy crowns appeared to be growing on the rosy-pink bushes. There were crimson clouds in the magenta-colored sky that formed the outlines of hearts, even.

All of it was… breathtaking. You’d never seen a place as majestic as this.

And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to think it all symbolized a thing such as love.

No, there was no feeling of ‘love’ in this place. The red clearly didn’t indicate romance—instead it seemed to illustrate determination, pride, and bloodshed. Red is the color of fire; it is the color of human blood. The heart is one of the most crucial organs in the body. It keeps all in balance, all in good health. It keeps everything together and, without it, anatomy is nothing.

Soon after realizing this, you inhaled sharply. Because you’d suddenly remembered seeing the cards give off a strange glow before falling into... whatever this is.

‘The cards’… that Romania had dropped. Did he have something to do with this? “…Hey, Romano? Do you remember when I showed you those cards earlier…?”

He momentarily stopped eyeing the world of red, “Huh? Oh, yeah. What about them, dammit?” He exhaled and shoved his hands into his front pockets, scowling.

“Do you remember what Romania said? Back in line at the World Government building? Stuff about magic…” You trailed off, thinking it would be silly to place the blame square on friendly Romania.

But apparently, Romano thought otherwise. “Oh… yeah! I swear, I’m gonna beat up that little bastard the next time I see him!” His mouth was instantly in a snarl, teeth practically bared. “How dare he do this to me?! I’M GONNA PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE! AND THEN I’M GONNA HEADBUTT HIM RIGHT IN THE STOMACHE AND I’M GONNA-”

You tuned him out and sighed. Romano’s no help.

How were you supposed to think of ways to get back? This sort of thing only happened in movies! And you were stuck here with Romano no less. Couldn’t it have been someone more helpful? And where was this place anyway? This didn’t even feel like the same planet! Especially since most places on Earth didn’t have dark trenches that suddenly teleported you into some kind of Heartland while standing in the middle of the freaking World Government hallway.

…No matter how you thought of it, there was only one explanation: It was truly like magic. Yup. Romania’s hobby.

Just to make sure, you decided to pinch yourself.

-Okay, tried it.

And nope, still here. This wasn’t a dream, then.

You tried pinching Romano—but he simply smacked your hand away and threatened to throw his non-existent tomatoes at you.

“Well then, can you at least try to help me figure this out?” You asked, tone clearly annoyed.

He huffed, arms still crossed, and shrugged briefly. The pout was still on his face from his previous Romania Rant.

Dismissing his refusal to cooperate, you turned and glanced more into the forest. “Maybe if we find someone, we can ask them what’s going on?” You suggested.

Romano simply shrugged again. “…If we can find anyone, dammit.” He mumbled.

You nodded—after all, it was very quiet around here, and you hadn’t seen anyone since, well… falling in. “We should just start walking or something. Maybe we’ll run into someone.” Without waiting for a response, you took a few steps. And of course, without fail, Romano reluctantly began to follow you.

“H-How far are we gonna have to walk around in this creepy place, anyway…?” He complained, trying not to sound afraid.

You let out a quiet chuckle—he could really be a coward sometimes. Even if he tried not to show it. But, somehow, you found it a bit charming. “Do I look like I have any idea where I’m going?”

Although there were clear trails, there were many of them. They could truly lead to anywhere. You had no idea what to expect and, frankly, you weren’t even sure if it was safe.

Romano continued to follow you down the nearest trail. You’d picked it at random, since it was closest and all. But not long after you began hiking, there was a slight disturbance in the bushes to your left. The first sound you’d heard that didn’t seem to come from nature.

“…Chigi! W-What the fuck was that?!” The normally-strict Italian was suddenly hiding behind your back.

You stopped walking. The shaking in the left bush halted—and then continued in one to your right. “What….?” You thought aloud, just as the shaking stopped again and a rattling started among the trees.

“H-Hey! Whoever’s doing that shit… s-stop it!” Romano shouted—but still gripping your shoulders from behind and holding on tight.

As if in response, you heard the distinct sound of laughter fill the air. It seemed to come from nowhere—and yet everywhere at the same time. This quiet laughter was the air; at least for the moment. A ghostly, echoing, odd laughter that sounded just like-

“KESESESE!”

Your heart nearly popped out through your throat. “…Prussia?!”

A black-and-white shimmer flashed by the bushes to your right; along with a wave of familiar laughter that seemed to move with the wind and sparkly flicker. “W-What’s going on, dammit…” Romano mumbled, hazel eyes catching yet another black-and-white flicker near the left bushes. Another ghostly laughter followed.

“Hey… show yourself!” You shouted.

The mass of black-and-white suddenly floated out of the trees. You tried not to display any weakness as it stopped directly in front of you. The whole thing looked like a blob of black-and-white sparkles that seemed to vary in shades and intensity—it definitely looked ghostlike. Somehow.

“F-Fare qualcosa, idiota!” Romano stuttered out; gripping your back even tighter and fearfully peeking at the mass from over your shoulder.

Ignoring his pleas to ‘do something’, you silently watched as the floating shimmer slowly formed what appeared to be a… human body.

“…Oh well well, what do we have here~?” Your heart immediately began pounding. That voice—although it sounded hollow, ghostly—you’d recognize it anywhere.

“It seems the awesome me has found some prey…” The person seemed to be made of fog or mist. Something like that as he floated close to your face. “…About time, kesesese!”

Before you could fully take in what was happening, you felt Romano instantly break away from you. “Prussia? What the fuck are you doing here, bastard?! And why the hell do you look like that? You better quit that floating shit before I tackle you down - chigi!” Of course, Romano was already hostile towards Spain’s friend whom he, apparently, knew pretty well.

At that moment, you got over the surprise and stared Prussia right in the face. He smirked at your sudden interest (or so it seemed), but now you knew for sure—those red eyes, silver hair, and pale skin only confirmed his identity. “Yeah, Prussia? What’s going on? And how are you doing that, anyway?” You asked, pointing down to his levitation.

The smirk was instantly wiped off his face. Eyes wide, he dropped down to the ground and immediately regained his full color scheme. But this time, he appeared solid—now unlike a ghost completely. “…What? I am no ‘Prussia’! You two must have me confused for some other Joker—because I am clearly the amazing Gilbert Beilshmidt! I’m sure you’ve heard of me, haven’t you?!” He was frantically pointing to himself; begging for any kind of recognition.

You stared again. But this time, it was out of shock. The ‘Greatest’ Prussia… was denying his identity as Prussia?! And calling himself some weird name, ‘Gilbert’…?

Oh wait a second. Different world. Alternate dimension. Parallel universe. Of course the people here weren’t exactly the same.

“Um… we’re not exactly from here. This… world, actually.” You tried to explain, but, it was pretty difficult once you really thought it over.

Prussia (Gilbert?) looked you over, “Clearly! You two must obviously be from another universe if you don’t know who I am!”

You facepalmed, while Romano proceeded to shout, “We didn’t mean it like that, bastard!”

The entity called Gilbert laughed, “Okay, I get it. You guys really stand out anyway. Where are you from?”

After a moment, Romano looked at you. Giving him a shrug, you turned back to Gilbert and responded, “A place called Earth.”

“Earth, huh? Never heard of that one.”

“’Kay well, can you tell us where we are and what’s going on? And what are you, anyway? We were suddenly dropped here through a black hole or something.” Oh god, you sounded like you were mentally insane. But your response was the truth.

Gilbert laughed again. “You’re near the Kingdom of Hearts. And I’m a Joker!”

Romano eyed him with distaste, “What do you mean, bastard? ‘A Joker’…?”

But as soon as you heard ‘Kingdom of Hearts’ and ‘Joker’ in the same explanation, you suddenly got a flashback to those cards. The magical ones Romania had dropped which were precisely the King of Hearts, Queen of Hearts, Jack of Hearts, and the Joker.

“I don’t know what planet you’re from, but here, there are only four countries in the world. The Kingdom of Hearts, the Kingdom of Spades, the Kingdom of Diamonds, and the Kingdom of Clubs. I for one, am a Joker. We’re not exactly human, as you can see, but we’re here for a reason.” He crossed his arms and smirked, as if he was the most important of the lot.

“What the fuck? So we’re like, in a world of playing cards? How lame.” Romano easily shrugged this world off as stupid.

But however this world worked didn’t matter to you. Romano may not act like he cares, but you both knew you needed to get home. “Okay then Mr. Joker, do you know of a way that we can get back to our world?” You asked him, hoping he would give you a straight yes-or-no answer. You already felt anxious to leave this place; no matter how beautiful or unique it seemed.

Gilbert eyed you, the self-satisfied grin still on his face. “A way to get home? I can’t help you with that. But there’s a lot of groups that study parallel worlds. You could ask them~”

It took a few seconds for that to sink in. “…They study parallel worlds?”

He nodded, and leaned his back against a nearby tree— red devil-like tail swishing around aimlessly. “They’re mostly in Spades. They’re all into black magic and stuff over there.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black leather jacket. It had wavy red designs on it that, possibly, was supposed to match the Kingdom of Hearts? You noticed he was wearing all-black skinny jeans, black-and-red boots, and red devil horns that either were or were not real…?

You took in a deep breath, and glanced up towards Romano. “So what should we do?”

As helpful as could be, he responded, “Dunno. What do I look like, an American movie director or something?”

You sighed, and rubbed your eyes. Gilbert happened to notice your stress and crept away from the tree. Moving in close to you, he whispered into your ear, “You could always just stay here, you know. With me by your side, you wouldn’t need anyone else…~”

You immediately felt the blood rush up to your face. Gilbert laughed at your embarrassed expression while Romano threw him a dirty look. “Don’t even think about it, bastard…” He warned the Joker.

Shaking off the embarrassment, you moved away and began checking your pockets. You were pretty sure you didn’t have the cards from before, but if you found them, they could probably come in handy. Maybe they were even your ticket back home. But, unfortunately, you could’ve sworn they’d disintegrated with the ground when you’d fallen through.

“Anyway,” Gilbert finally composed himself from the bout of laughter, “I could still help you get to civilization. We’re not too far from the Kingdom, actually. Just down this trail and you’re at the front gate.”

Your eyes instantly widened, “Really?” So you’d actually taken the correct route? Out of the dozens you’d seen earlier…

“Yup. Let me walk with you~” Without warning, Gilbert moved forward and threw an arm your waist. Keeping it firmly around your left hip, he pointed ahead and noted, “It’s straight ahead. Let’s go!” He began fast-walking before Romano could process his previous actions.

“…Well hey wait up, you jerks! And LET GO OF HER, BASTARD!”

~* Kingdom of Hearts *~

As you’d begun walking down the trail, Gilbert had told you a bit more about this world. The Kingdom you were about to enter—which was Hearts—was currently in the middle of a war with Diamonds. And now that Hearts was allied with Spades, that left Diamonds vulnerable; since Clubs had refused to join them and passed a treaty of neutrality for the war. “Damn Ivan must have learned a thing or two from Vash. But if that’s true, how is Diamonds still at war?!” Gilbert had absentmindedly mumbled to himself mid-explanation.

Afterwards, Romano had asked what ‘Jokers’ were really for. And you’d asked why Gilbert had called you ‘prey’ before showing himself. He’d teasingly explained that Jokers were living a second life and needed human life force to go on. Some kind of soul to feed off of. You weren’t sure if you believed it, but then again, Jokers were the only other type of human in this world and they weren’t exactly welcome in any Kingdom.

Soon, you reached the outskirts of Hearts. “Alright, this is as far as I can take you. Make sure to find me later, ‘kay? I’ll allow you to become my apprentice of awesome. Oh, and I’ll even reward you with petting and kisses~”

You rolled your eyes. This world’s Prussia seemed like more of a flirt than the other’s. Except, in a way, he still seemed like Prussia. “I’ll have to pass on that.”

“-Yeah you BET she’ll pass on that! Who do you think you are, jerk?!” Romano was instantly at your side, facing Gilbert and harshly poking his forehead.

“Quit it! And I’m clearly the greatest Joker to have ever roamed the world. Anyone would be- HEY STOP POKING ME! …-glad to be my apprentice.” Gilbert looked away from Romano and back towards you. “So don’t forget about me. We’ll meet again, I just know it~”

You chuckled, “You sound like you stole that line from a cheesy romance movie.”

“I didn’t! And it’s because, we really will see each other again. Whether you want to or not. You’ll see. I’m sorry but, I don’t make the rules.” And with one last smirk, he suddenly disintegrated into black-and-white sparkles, flowing to the ground and disappearing completely.

“…Uh, so he’s gone now?” You wondered aloud.

Romano shrugged, a rare smile on his lips. “Well duh. Didn’t he say this was as far as he could take us? That bastard.”

You sighed, “You really do have a habit of calling people that.”

He shrugged again, and turned to look up at the front gate. It was open, and therefore revealed Hearts. “…Doesn’t this place remind you of tomatoes?” He mused. You couldn’t tell if he genuinely wondered that or was just making fun of the place.

But looking into Hearts, the amount of red really was overwhelming.

Literally every person walking around was dressed in crimson. The architecture consisted of many heart shapes and patterns, and the main color schemes were, of course, red. Many banners and flags hung down with the official Hearts symbol—painted red as expected. The streets were black, but had red sidewalks.

Red. Red.

It seemed never-ending. And, due to the fact that you were in Hearts—it probably was never-ending. In this Kingdom at least.

As you two stood gawking at the entryway, you happened to catch sight of something odd. But it was only out of the corner of your eye. And besides, it was just a flicker of blue. Must not mean anything or else it would-

-OH WAIT. Last time you caught sight of an odd flicker, it turned out to be this world’s Prussia. So if you happened to see another color stand out…

Before you could even finish the thought, the exact source of your questions happened to scramble out of the crowds. “HEY YOU!”

Both you and Romano nearly jumped a foot in the air due to the surprise. You both turned towards where you heard the voice, and suddenly came face-to-face with none other than… China?

He looked, for the most part, pissed off. But actually, that wasn’t what stood out about him. Completely unlike the rest of the people here, he was wearing all-blue—in contrast to their all-red.

He was wearing a dark blue fancy-looking coat, with black spade-shaped pockets and light blue sleeve cuffs. The collar and mini-cloak were matching light blue, and beneath the jacket he wore a long, flowing gray shirt that almost looked like a dress. It was tattered at the ends, but below it you could see clean dark blue slacks and black shoes. His hair was still in its usual ponytail, but over the side of his head was a small, dark blue pointed beret hat with an attached Spade pendant and light blue feather on the side.

Furiously pointing at Romano, he shouted, “Where the hell have you been?! Everyone’s been waiting for you!”

After a few seconds, you finally got over the surprise and slowly turned to Romano. “…What?” You worded with your lips, no sound coming out.

He looked right back at you with an expression just as confused as yours. After all, China was here too? Who else would you see here?

Before he could respond, China-Of-This-World glanced in your direction. Irritably looking back to Romano, he said, “Oh, so you picked up another girl? Whatever. You can bring her with you. Just come on!” And thus he latched onto Romano’s arm and began running at full speed.

“Hey, w-wait a second bastard! What are you-”

But China ignored him as he harshly pulled him further. Taking another look at him, he added, “And why do you look so… different?” He mumbled, just as you realized how far away they were getting. You didn’t want to lose them in this crowd, and besides—China had said you could come. So without hesitance, you began running after them.

“Let… go… of me-chigi!” As Romano lagged behind China, he tried his best to wriggle out of his grip. But the bastard was too strong and too fast. He literally had to sprint to keep up with him, and if he didn’t, he would either get legitimately dragged or fall over or both.

You didn’t know what China was up to, but you thought it best to stay with the people you knew. Maybe when he got to wherever you needed to be, you could ask for a way to get home. After all, the guy must have been from Spades, and Gilbert had said that that kingdom studied black magic and parallel worlds. Although, you had no idea what business China had with Romano. Still… this occurrence seemed good. China seemed more professional than Gilbert. High up, somehow. Maybe he could really help you.

“I can’t believe we’re so late! It’s all your fault, you know that?! Now they’re going to think so lowly of us Jacks—and it’s all because of you!” Yep, China was still pissed. He was starting a lecture even as the three of you were zigzagging though crowds, nearly bumping into several people, and still somehow navigating towards wherever China was taking you.

“I have no idea what you’re talking abou-ahh ahhhh, that castle is amazing, dammit!” Romano was instantly taken aback as China led you both into an enormous red brick castle, designed with many heart patterns and crown accents.

If Romano was amazed—which he wasn’t easily—you couldn’t even begin to describe your immediate infatuation with the place. He was right; this castle was breathtaking!

“You’re still saying that even though you’ve seen it at least a billion times? How arrogant.” China grumbled as he began leading you down the halls.

Although you were mesmerized by the castle’s beauty, this whole thing was getting a bit out of hand. Seriously, what business did China have with Romano in a FREAKING CASTLE? “…Okay. You there… China-Of-This-World! What the heck is going on? And where exactly are you taking us?” You asked, nearly breathlessly, as you continued to run alongside him and Romano.

In response, he rolled his eyes. “Please miss, this is important so please don’t ruin it for us.”

Offended, you instantly spouted back, “I would never! So what is it?”

Now even more irritated, China glared towards Romano and said, “You probably forgot about the meeting because of her, didn’t you?”

He instantly blushed. “W-What? She’s… nothing special to me! Chigi!”

China once again rolled his eyes and glanced back towards you. “The rulers of Hearts and Spades have scheduled a meeting to discuss the plans for defeating Diamonds once and for all.”

You nearly tripped. So this was important! Even in an alternate universe, you knew this was a serious matter. It was no game, illusion, or dream. In this world, it was real. In this world, there was an ongoing war. And you and Romano were literally getting dragged into it for no reason.

China finally stopped running and, breathing heavily, began to open a door.

At this point, you just couldn’t let things continue. Not like this. You lunged for China’s arm, nearly falling over in the process. “Wait!”

Successfully catching ahold of his sleeve before he could open the door, you looked him straight in the eye and demanded, “Tell me what Romano has to do with all of this.” After all, you’d come here by mistake. You didn’t belong here. So how could you (well, Romano) be needed? You doubted there was a role for him to play here—since clearly this wasn’t a game. If China was bringing him here, it was for a legitimate reason. But what was it? There must have been some kind of mix-up.

Upon hearing your words, China sighed heavily and turned to glare at Romano again. The Italian simply shrugged and tossed him the evil eye right back. “What are you looking at, jerk? I don’t even know who you are or what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing here.” He crossed his arms defiantly, huffing.

That finally woke China up. “You… You really don’t know…?” The look on his face was priceless. This whole time, it was either in an annoyed pout, snarl, or grimace. But now, he looked genuinely confused. “B-But we met a few days ago when our alliance was formed. When my Lords and I first came to visit Hearts? It’s me, Yao Wang! And you… You knew about the meeting! I know you did! Us Jacks were to be notified of it! And how could you just not-” He suddenly stopped rambling when he caught sight of both yours and Romano’s completely lost expressions. “…A-Aren’t you the Jack of Hearts?” China (Yao, he’d said?) asked carefully, voice a bit shaky and weak.

Romano tossed him a weird look, “’the fuck is that?”

You watched as Yao’s eyes slowly widened in horror. He’d brought the wrong guy.

“So then, who are you?” You asked him.

Unsteadily, he responded, “I-I’m the Jack of Spades…”

All was silent for a moment. Yao looked like he was going into shock, while Romano just continued to eye him disapprovingly. When all of a sudden, the door opposite you bolted open. “…And I’m the Jack of Hearts!” Someone sang out gleefully.

Within seconds, you froze in high disturbance. That voice. It reminded you of…

“-LITTLE BROTHER?!” Romano called out in shock.

Italy’s Counterpart looked towards him in confusion, “Say whaaat~?”

Unlike Yao, he was dressed in all-red. But that was to be expected. Jack, huh? He was wearing a burgundy cargo jacket with a brown-and-auburn striped dress shirt underneath, a matching brown belt around the waist, poufy salmon-pink trousers that ended below his knees and thin white stockings with three vertical red hearts down the sides. Completing the outfit were black shoes, a pink beret hat with two red hearts pinned to the side, and a spear. You noticed it had an attached triangular red flag with three white horizontal hearts down it.

Yao instantly snapped back to reality, “HEY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! AND FOR THE LOVE OF SPADES, WHY MUST YOU TWO LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE?!”

Italy shrugged, “I was just making some pasta for you and the King and Queen of Sp-” and thus Yao grabbed him just like he did Romano and threw him into the other room before entering himself.

As the door closed, you and Romano stared at each other for a moment. It took a few seconds for everything to compute in your mind. So, Hearts and Diamonds were at war with each other. Spades had allied with Hearts to help out in the war. Spades and Hearts were currently having a meeting to discuss the plans for defeating Diamonds. Apparently, China/Yao was the Jack of Spades. He’d thought Romano was the Jack of Hearts—when it was actually this world’s Italy—and therefore dragged you all the way into the castle and right outside the room of said meeting by mistake. Wow. Big oops coming from China.

But, Romano didn’t take things as smoothly as you.

You noticed him snap his eyes over to the door. Instantly realizing his possible intentions, you signaled as best and quietly as you could for him not to open it.

But he ignored you.

Slamming the door open, he stomped inside and proceeded to shout, “…What the FUCK is going on here?!”

You facepalmed. Well, better stop him. Very gingerly, you stepped inside—just behind Romano. After all, this was this world’s royalty! You couldn’t allow him to do this! Besides, the Kings and Queens of Spades and Hearts were probably very mature, proper, and delicate. They wouldn’t stand for Romano to barge in and start yelling like that! …I can’t believe I’m about to meet royalty, you thought as you turned to face the room of leaders.

But as soon as you followed Romano in, you immediately caught the sound of some giddy laughter. “Ahahahaha! Who’s he? A comedian or somethin’? Dude, Arthur, look at how red his face is!” You heard what sounded extremely like the United freakin’ States of America.

Romano’s jaw was dropped. “A-Ameri…-? United.. Kingdo- oh my god, potato bastard? J-Japan…?! …WHAT THE FUCK?!” Romano threw both of his fists into his hair, squeezing tightly in nearly unbearable confusion.